Finding time to savor some quiet when the old year ends and the new is about to begin is a wonderful gift to give to yourself.
Yesterday afternoon, as the light of the waning sun shone the golden winter treetops outside my window, I was doing just that. Enjoying the twilight moment, I started cleaning up some files on the shelf behind my desk and found three quotes that I had saved to use one day.
“What better day than now!” I thought … so here they are:
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who care don’t care and those who matter don’t care. Dr seuss
Respect for oneself is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. Abraham Joshua Heschel
I am only one; but I am still one. I can not do everything, but I can still do something. I will not refuse to do what I can do. Helen Keller
What a rich smorgasbord of wisdom to consider and carry into a new year, or a new day, for that matter! And I was interested to note that each idea is related to limits. Limits are one of my favorite time management topics.
But what do these quotes have to do with limits?
Well, what I would say is that the more comfortable you feel with your limits, the more comfortable and secure you will feel sharing your ideas and your feelings with other people. That’s because when you have good, strong limits, you know you’re okay, no matter what.
So when your boundaries are strong and clear, you know, in your bones, that someone else’s feeling or opinion of you is yours and it doesn’t really say anything about you. Confident in yourself, you can authentically share and allow others to share the space in the same way.
Not only that, but what you say yes and what you say doesn’t determine how you spend your time. And these are not and are limits. Saying no to one thing allows you to focus more fully on another. This is a limit setting skill that is critical to the success of your time.
Ultimately, boundaries tell you where you end and the other person begins. You are one and only one. Knowing this helps you empower yourself to do what may do, whatever happens.
It is a mistake to think of limits as barriers. Actually knowing yourself and your limits frees you up to productively focus on the time you have and to relate much more openly … it’s the heart-based way!