I have a close friend who hates immigrants, especially from his own country of birth on the Asian continent.
He himself is a first generation immigrant, mature in his profession and has done very well as a professional. One would think that he, of all people, would value the contributions of all immigrants, and even more so from the country of his birth because they too have done well and come here legally. Some may have cheated the system by coming here as students and then getting sponsorships from employers, but it was all done legally.
However, my friend has a hard time understanding why most immigrants love the US more than their home country. I think he sees America as the land of mercenaries who grab, reach and grab, and therefore has created an artificial barrier that prevents him from embracing American culture, to the point where he dislikes anyone who embraces it. It doesn’t help that he also had a bad marriage. I haven’t researched him on the issues related to his marriage, but some details in talking about it lead me to believe that he didn’t have an effective attorney and that the result was that his wife wiped her watch.
While my (distant) friend’s attitude could be defined as extreme, this is a recurring, albeit rare, theme among first-generation immigrants to the US. But many immigrants, even those who have been studying, living and making a living here for decades, they seem to live in a cultural cocoon.
Unfortunately and tragically, this cultural divide has led in rare cases to violence and terrorism, perpetrated by seemingly ‘normal’ first generation immigrants.
So-called ‘ethnicity’ can sometimes prevent us from finding the best of both cultures, our immigrant culture and the American culture. How do we bridge the gap?
Here are some practical tips.
1. Commit to spending some time learning about American culture: its history, practices, angularities, and inhibitions. See if you can find similarities in your culture; believe me, there are many similarities no matter what your ancestry is.
2. Never let anyone denigrate your culture.
One person from southern Europe told me — “In our culture we revere the elderly. You Americans don’t. The minute your needs born of aging start to get in the way of your lifestyle, you put them in a home of elders”.
I told him that while I admired his pride in his culture, his generalization of a culture based on some observed incidental behavior was wrong. I then pointed out how the government and private citizens were working hard to care for the elderly, disabled, and veterans who had been injured.
3. That language be a unifier, not a divider. Be curious about how other languages express emotions, places, how they name their babies, etc. Genuine curiosity is healthy and builds respect.
4. Freely recognize that the majority of immigrants contribute, they do not take away resources. It’s a fact, look it up.
You may have valid points against the practices of another culture (for example, radical religious beliefs practiced by followers of a well-known religion that tramples on other religions and women are abhorrent and have kept its practitioners in poverty and decay for centuries But it won’t get you anywhere criticizing it, awareness must come from within that religion.
5. Celebrate important dates and events in other cultures with their followers.
In other words, the best advice I can give you for bridging the cultural gap is: CROSS THE DIVISION. Human beings everywhere have certain common values and attributes: good food, love of family, decency, and of course money concerns, take advantage of them.