I recently heard from a wife who wanted to know the guidelines for conjugal sex after an affair. Her husband had a short-term affair and the two of them had been trying to work on their marriage. The husband had done everything she had asked him to do, but he needed time to process all of this and heal. Understandably, she was still dealing with a lot of anger and confusion, although she acknowledged and appreciated all the effort her husband was putting in.
And while the couple tried hard and made progress, they certainly weren’t free at home yet. But, there was some physical contact and affection. And then the wife wondered when was the right time to resume her sex life. Because he had become the big elephant in the room. She said in part “It’s like neither of us wants to make the first move. I’m not sure I’m ready to have sex again, but I know he wants to. I’m rejecting him, but I don’t want it to be a disaster either. I have So scared that it’s really bad or that it won’t get turned on or that I feel so uncomfortable. How do I handle it?
Sex can be a huge hurdle after an affair. Because it is something natural between two people who love another. But you can feel so tainted in this situation when you know that your partner has recently been doing it with someone else. It can be very difficult to separate emotional feelings from physical ones. And the moment can be very important. I will discuss more about this matter in the next article.
You should not rush to have sex after an affair: It is very tempting to want to have sex in the hope that doing so will all improve sooner rather than later. However, the problem with this strategy is that if it goes wrong or feels strange, people will sometimes interpret it to mean that the relationship cannot be saved or that the problems are insurmountable when this may not be true.
Sometimes the partner who had the affair will pressure the other to have sex because they believe this physical connection will mean that they are on the way to being forgiven. Other times, the faithful spouse feels compelled to have sex because they want their spouse to know that they are really trying. But, none of these are valid reasons to rush into something that might hurt more than it helps. The real key is to be as honest as possible about it so there are no misunderstandings. If you are not ready yet, you can make it clear that you want to show your affection and efforts in other ways, but this does not mean that you are rejecting, punishing, or resisting your spouse.
When you’re ready to resume sex after an affair, you’ll generally know: I often tell people that there really isn’t a set time to start being intimate again. This really depends on the partner. Generally speaking, sexual desire and activity resumes once the faithful spouse begins to believe that the unfaithful spouse is truly sorry for the affair and that the couple is on the way to being happy again.
The emotional is usually the first and then the physical. There is no set timeline for this process and you shouldn’t feel bad if you’re not ready yet. Because generally, you will know when the time is right. And it is worth waiting up to this point. It is better to be safe and get a good result than to go ahead even if you have doubts and find it disappointing.
Restoring Your Sexual Confidence After Your Spouse Has An Affair: I think one thing that makes this topic so charged is that the affair can really hurt a faithful spouse’s self-esteem. The faithful spouse will generally imagine almost unrealistic sexual relationships between their spouse and the other person and wonder how they can compete. And they will wonder if their spouse still finds them attractive or has fallen in love with them.
So with all these doubts, it can be very difficult to pretend to be sexually confident. That is why I really believe that it is important to address your sexual confidence if this is an issue for you. You deserve to feel safe and wanted. The matter of your spouse was not your decision and it certainly was not your fault. It is not fair that you continue to suffer damages. So it only makes sense to do whatever it takes to restore what has been lost. Don’t apologize for getting what you need to live your best life without keeping looking back.