Rich celebrities are used to being gifted with expensive jewelry, and the trend extends right up to the day they give birth. Case in point: Pierce Brosnan gave his wife Keely three gold and diamond bracelets when his son Paris was born. Ben Affleck gifted his wife Jennifer Garner expensive purple jewelry after he gave birth to his daughter Violet (which the down-to-earth Mrs. Affleck reportedly made him return). Sarah Jessica Parker received a beautiful charm bracelet from her husband Matthew Broderick when her son James made her debut. Other celebrity dads celebrate the arrival of their new babies by buying expensive jewelry for their wives and girlfriends, such as diamond rings, diamond earrings, pearl necklaces, pearl earrings, and jewelry made from their baby’s birthstone.
Until a few years ago, these “push gifts,” so called because they are tokens of appreciation for work, were a novelty for me. All I got when I gave birth to my son was… my son. Not to say I’m not immensely grateful; he is my pride and joy. But a nice pair of diamond earrings or a pearl cocktail ring, for example, to show me that my husband appreciated my months of hard pregnancy and hours of even harder labor would have been “icing” on the cake.
What made the lack of gifts worse was that many of my girlfriends received stunning jewelry from their thoughtful and appreciative husbands. My favorites were a pearl bracelet, sapphire and diamond earrings, a diamond and yellow gold band, and a princess-cut yellow diamond ring.
Poor thing, my husband didn’t know it was done.
Apparently, he is not alone. While doing research for this article, I sent out a query to all the guys on my email list (whose wives can thank me later). In addition to wanting to know if they knew what a push gift was, he also wanted to know if they thought the idea was touching or silly. Did you pressure them? Was it just another damn thing they’d have to spend money on?
Naturally, the comments I received were as varied as those on my email list, which includes my boss, my trainer at the gym, my brother, my best friend’s brother, my neighbors, my co-workers, and my dentist. . to name a few.
First, for the sweet:
From Dave: “Yes, I gave my wife a gift. I didn’t feel pressured. She deserved it and more.”
From John: “I bought my wife a charm bracelet after our daughter Lindsay was born. I had charms for both of our daughters.”
From Taylor: “Yes, I bought my wife gifts on both occasions other than flowers. The first time was a cultured pearl necklace (as if she needed more jewelry). The last time was a Kate Spade diaper bag.”
From Wayne, father of four: “Maybe for one or two, certainly not all four.” [I certainly remember: Wayne’s wife, my friend Sandy, was the recipient of the highly coveted and aforementioned sapphire and diamond earrings.]
From Howie: “Considering my wife had a C-section with both girls, is there a cut present?” [Actually, there is, and it’s called a ‘cut your guts out’ present. My friend’s daughter Nicole got a sterling silver bracelet from her husband for her efforts].
“I gave my wife a birthstone for each girl, but forget about the ‘gifting’ idea. Those nine months are the easy part. It’s for the 18 years after that you have to give your wife the gifts! Honestly , those two girls can scream!”
Dennis: “It’s funny, before my wife got pregnant, I never thought of a push gift. My friend and his wife had a baby four months before us and his wife would surely tell my wife about this gift. It’s not that I would.” I haven’t given my wife and mother of my son much of a gift, but she got into the realm of ‘did her husband buy her a diamond bracelet?’ kind of thing This goes to show that keeping up with the Joneses makes some people do things they wouldn’t otherwise do.” [OK, maybe this answer doesn’t technically fall under the sweet category as it’s got some ambivalence tossed in.]
“I’m not sure spending thousands of dollars on a gift is the best thing for the new family. Was this gift idea created by the diamond companies? So, yes, I bought my wife a gift. Before I even I would have heard of a push gift, I had my son’s birthstone set in a ring and necklace.”
From Paul: “I gave her a day at the spa.”
From Derek, “I gave her a Tiffany ring because it was a nice thing to do, I’d heard, and because she deserves it.”
Now for the outraged:
From Ben: “No, I didn’t get my wife a push gift. The only thing on my mind was making sure all the big stuff was taken care of. Adding something so stupid on top of this momentous event is ridiculous.” “The special gift is the gift of life and the creation of a human being. Now, when I look back on those times, I wouldn’t even remember the insignificant gift. It sounds like nonsense invented by a jewelers association.”
From Steve: “I agreed to fund the kids for 22 years each. That was my gift.”
Peter L: “I’m not a big fan of present push. A woman gives birth to a child and now expects a present? While I have no idea what it’s like to be pregnant, I don’t know any women.” that he has repented The whole expensive jewelry thing doesn’t sit well with me. That’s what birthdays and anniversaries are for.” [Thank God I didn’t marry Peter, not that he asked.]
From Dave H: When Meryl was born, I gave my wife a new chain for her road bike ($60 value) and installed it for her (free of charge). It was the least she could do, since she had taken off his chains. she of all her bikes at the end of month seven when she refused to stop bicycling. She quickly started biking two weeks after we took our son out and since she was lighter than she was used to, she could climb hills faster than I could. The good news is that she is now four months pregnant and she is slowing down more every day, which allows me to seem faster.”
And last but not least, the clueless:
Peter C: “I don’t remember, but I’m sure I gave something.”
Matt: “Wow, was I supposed to give something? Why doesn’t anyone let us know about these things?
Jim: “Color me without thinking. It never occurred to me.”
John S: “I must be a bad husband. Three kids in four years and I didn’t buy Kim any presents for any of them!”
What’s a boy to do?
Whether you agree with the boyfriends, the scoundrels, or one of the clueless, consider yourself duly informed and remember that nine months of pregnancy capped off by excruciatingly painful labor (not to mention sore nipples) is no picnic. It’s always nice to be appreciated, especially when you’re a new mom and your hormones are screaming what the hell have I done? I used to be a sexy carefree vixen, for God’s sake!
What’s more, the jewelry you give to the mother of your child can be passed on to that child when he or she marries or turns 21, say. Best of all, you don’t have to spend thousands. Many quality pieces of jewelry are as affordable as they are sentimental.
To help you get started, here are my favorite freebies:
o Pearl Studs: Timeless and elegant, pearl studs pair perfectly with robes and spits. Plus, high-quality freshwater cultured pearl earrings are as low as $30-$40 a pair.
o Diamond Earrings – A bit more expensive than pearl earrings, sure, but diamond earrings are a jewelry staple. That means your efforts will not be in vain; these flares will get a lot of use. And you can have a good pair for less than $500.
o Birthstone Ring – Lots of options and price ranges here depending on the stone and setting. (Skip the diamond accents and it probably won’t break the bank.) Remember, a fancy ring can be passed on to your little one; so make sure you get something of good quality that won’t tarnish.
o Nantucket Basket – A beautiful gold basket pendant necklace containing your children’s birthstones, the Nantucket Basket necklace is designed to be added to subsequent births. You may find the necklace expensive, but once you purchase the pendant, all you have to do is add the birthstones for each subsequent child. (Push this out of the way forever.)
o Mother and Child Pendant: The sterling silver version of this sweet circular pendant can be had for less than $50.
o Charm Bracelet: The sky’s the limit here, but the initial investment shouldn’t be too bad. Like the Nantucket basket, this piece can be added on special occasions. Charms have prices everywhere; It’s up to you what to spend. However, birthstone booties for babies are a favorite charm for new moms.
o String of pearls: traditional and classic, a string of pearls is a wonderful option. If you have a girl, you can use it in the future on your wedding day as something to borrow and as a reminder of how much your mother means to you. If price is an issue, akoyas and freshwater cultured pearl strands are the way to go. Save the Tahiti and South Sea pearls for when your stock splits or your patent is approved. You understand.
Go shopping!
Well parents-to-be, now that you know about gifts, there’s no excuse not to give the mother of your children a little (or big) token of appreciation. And no, you don’t have to be rich and famous like Matt Damon or Michael Douglas, or spend your future savings for college. There are many affordable gift options that don’t cost much. Do some research on the internet and you may be able to find unique and meaningful jewelry that fits your budget. (Just make sure you have it gift-wrapped. We hate it if you forget.) And don’t worry too much that we don’t like it. It really is the thought that counts. I’m not sure? I’ll let you in on a little secret: if you really want a surefire way to be a hero in your wife’s eyes, change a diaper once in a while!
See pearl jewelry gift ideas here.